I Used to Know Somebody

I've always found it kind of interesting how people can just walk away from everything and everyone they know and love. Weather for practical reasons like a move, or for more emotional, personal reasons, people come and go. I find it strange, though, that some people are able to do this without any hesitation, to just pack up and leave everything behind.

What I find even more interesting is that even without any intentionality, it seems that people walk in and out of our lives all the time. Sometimes they do so without leaving much of an impression, but other times they grow to be big parts of our lives and still manage to disappear eventually.

This week I've really been thinking about the people in my life who, for one reason or anything, aren't really around any more. I suppose when you're involved in any kind of student ministry, it goes without saying that you won't be around that group forever- young people move on eventually and whether it's a job or university in another city or just circumstance, they drift apart, at least physically. I think there's something really beautiful, though, about being able to maintain a relationship with the people you leave behind, even if that's just sending letters or emails, or a Skype call here and there.

In God's Kingdom, we are one body together with all his people, and that calls for some kind of communication at least! I think that's what I love so much about social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter- their ability to act as a sort of virtual carrier pigeon between friends and family make it so much easier for us to stay together when we're apart.

That being said, here's a shout-out to all of you who read this blog who I don't see on a daily basis! Thanks for doing your part to keep in touch with what's going on in my life! I would love to hear about yours!



And I'll leave you with that, a song about the bitter sting of broken and lost relationships, to encourage you not to leave anyone behind ;)

Blessings,

Touch the Leper

I've been thinking a lot recently about social justice- oppressed people groups, equality, and all that jazz. It occurs to me that, as a Christian, it's my duty to show love to people, especially people who are marginalized and really need it.

This post is inspired at least a little by conversations I've had over the last few days, and by Keith Ganzer's sermon preached this morning at Emmaus Anglican Church.

In Jesus' day, people with leprosy had it really rough. They were outcast from society because of their condition- not only because it was contagious, but also because they believed it was caused by their sins. If you had leprosy, you had to walk around shouting "Unclean! Unclean!" so that people would know to keep their distance. You were literally as far removed and ostracised as you possibly could be.

When I try to think about what the modern equivalent of a leper would be- that is, a people group that is marginalized and gets a lot of hate- the first groups that come to mind are the homeless and the gay community. Too many people in the world have negative attitudes toward homeless people, and homosexuals get treated poorly all over the world (granted, less in recent years than before, but still more than they should)

Speaking on a more confessional, personal level, I think I've definitely been guilty of not showing enough love to these two groups- and maybe that's why I'm focusing on them tonight. I've always claimed to have compassion for the homeless, and yet I never make any effort to make them feel loved. I've always claimed to love homosexuals (because their sin is really no worse than mine) but I've never made an effort to reach out to them or support them in any way. I've been pretty lousy at showing love to these two groups, and Christ's example shows us that we need to reach out to the world's pariahs.

In Luke 5:13, Jesus "reaches out and touches" a man "full of leprosy" and heals him. Keith pointed out this morning that Jesus really didn't need to touch the leper to heal him. There's instances where He simply says the word and people are healed and get up and walk. Jesus touches the leper to show compassion and love to this poor outcast. He doesn't just heal the leper- he forgives him, and shows that by His actions! Similarly, we as Christians need to reach out and touch the marginalized people in our society!

In May and June, I will be living in community with a few other members of Emmaus Anglican Church- one of whom is currently homeless, and is super excited to be moving into an apartment with Christian roommates who can help support him in prayer and help him get back on track with things! This guy is super cool, and we've had a lot of good conversations, and yet I know that in my heart there's still some kind of barrier there, so I am excited to see how God uses this to grow me in my ability to feel compassion to people who are different from me, and to reach out to them in love!

All this being said, I'm pretty tired and have to be functional tomorrow- I am taking a three day trip to Ottawa this week, and have to cram 5 days of work into 2 days. Should be fun.

Blessings,

The Bible in a Year: Week 13

Whoo! Sorry this is a day late, I was fairly busy yesterday (and by that I mean I watched hours and hours of TV and completely forgot about my blog, gasp!)

So, my Bible readings have finally brought me into Deuteronomy, and I must say I am pretty stoked to get out of the Pentateuch sometime soon. Jokes aside, it has been a really interesting read, if a bit heavy.

One thing that kind of struck me this week while reading Deuteronomy was the whole idea of Moses not being allowed to enter the promised land. As a person involved in leading ministry, that hit me really hard. I thought about how much Moses must have connected with the people he was leading, the deep bonds and relationships he built along the way, and the love he must have felt for them. I thought about how intensely sorrowful it must have been for him and for all of them when he told them that he would not be with them forever. Then I thought about how painful it would be for me, if I was in a similar situation. I wept a little, reflecting on Moses' leadership and on the humility it must have taken to stop before reaching the place he had worked so hard to get people to, and to just let all the glory go to God as His people were brought into the land He had promised them.

I pray that I would keep that in perspective while doing His work, that I would be able to understand that sometimes we can't be there for the beautifully fulfilling moments, but that we have to trust His glory and mercy to see things through to the end when we can't.

Cheers,

Hardcore Brokenness: Slow to Anger

I don't know about you, but there are a lot of things in my life that are clearly only there to test my patience. Traffic, the public transport system, broken escalators, slow waiters, my mother, the list goes on!

I find over the years I have grown a lot in my patience. I almost never outwardly react to the things that bother me, which is a lot better than exploding or freaking out when I lose my patience. But I know that's not really enough, because, while I might not show it on the outside, I'm still very quick to get angry about these things on the inside. A lot of people would argue that it's better to let it out than to bottle it up, but I would say it's best to not even get to that point to begin with.

But how can we do that?


We are told in Corinthians that Love is a number of things. The first of these things is patient! I think there's a significance to the fact that it is the first one listed in that passage. I think that's because it's so essential to the rest of them- if you lose your patience, it's impossible to be loving, kind and so on because your heart is in the wrong place for that.

When it comes to matters of the heart like this, there's really no *practical* advice I can give you. This is partly because it's all stuff I'm dealing with as well, and partly because I believe that the only really good way to deal with these things is by giving them to God and asking Him to change your heart to be more like His.

So if you're like me and regularly find yourself struggling to keep a cool head (or heart!) in the midst of such trials, I want to challenge you to bring those feelings to God and ask Him to change your heart! Ask Him to help you be quick in love and slow to anger.

Prayerfully,

Hardcore Brokenness: Mending Relationships

So, as promised, here is the post that was supposed to go up yesterday! Sorry that took so long, it's been a really crazy week.

Before starting, I'd like to establish that in this post, the word 'relationship' will be used in the general context of any type of social connection between two people, not in any way specifically referring to romance or dating or anything of the like, but also not excluding them.

I think it's safe to say that a lot of the things we perceive as negative in our lives come from the drama of damaged relationships. We all have them- those friends who things just never seem right with, the parents we blame for everything that's wrong, the loved ones we grow apart from- but what we don't seem to realize is that our relationships matter a lot!

I often find myself getting frustrated with people, or feeling disconnected from friends and family, and dismiss it until it becomes a real problem. If we do this and allow our problems to get bigger and bigger before dealing with them, they become unbearable and even more harm is done. We need to be able to identify when a relationship is failing and bring it up, as uncomfortable as that may be, so that measures can be taken to save it. I'm not even going to claim that this is a biblical principle- it just makes good sense. Humans are social creatures, we're hard-wired to care about each other (which is kind of beautiful, if you ask me), so it makes a lot of sense that we should strive to have right and functional relationships with as many people as possible.

But how can we do this?


One thing I've realized about my own approach to relationships is that I try to be intentional with them. If it's a relationship that I really feel the need to nurture and grow in, I will intentionally make time for that person as much as I'm able- but only if they are willing to do the same. I also tend to ignore small things that bother me, even if they get repeated on a regular basis, because we have to endure one another out of love, right?

If your enduring of someone begins to put a serious strain on your relationship with that person, it is okay to tell them that! You can be incredibly loving and unconditional with that love, but if you really care about the health of the relationship, you should be willing to risk it by bringing up the things that are harder to talk about. Sometimes people just don't realize they're driving you crazy until you tell them. Now, all that's to say it's not really okay to attack them with it- if you have an issue with someone it's very important to be tactful in the way that you deal with it, especially if you value the relationship at all.

But what if someone tries to do that with you, and fails to be tactful?


This is something that has come up for me a number of times. A really close friend of mine has always been really reliable when it comes to calling me out on things I'm doing that aren't Christlike. I appreciate that a lot because I would have made even more bad decisions without his guidance there. He always lacked tact though, and that put a bit of a strain on our relationship for a long time, because any time he would call me out on these things, I would feel hurt and attacked despite also knowing he was right and going to apply the changes. I think in these situations, it's important to do two things: First, to call them out on their tactlessness, and thank them for the advice; and Second, to keep short accounts with them.

This is a principle that Jesus taught, of turning the other cheek and being quick to forgive and whatnot. He at one point warns us that if we have a problem with our brother we should drop everything and go deal with it before making our sacrifices in worship to the Lord. I think this is a super important thing to apply to our lives, and is something I need to get a lot better at.

So, if you're reading this and you have a problem with me and want to mend our relationship- talk to me! :)

Tune in next Wednesday (for real this time) for the next post in this series! And don't forget to check back on Monday for an update about my New Year's Resolution ;)

Cheers,

Bury the Hatchet

Hey guys,

This has been a dark week for me- coming to terms with the fact that there's a lot of stuff in my life that is broken and uncomfortable, a lot of things I'm not okay with as much as I thought I was, and a lot of things that I just need to get over. Needless to say, God's at work here.

In Matthew, Jesus tells us, "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny." Essentially, the idea he's trying to get across here is that we need to keep short accounts with people. If someone wrongs us, we need to be very quick to forgive and reconcile that relationship. And vice versa. And if that's hard to do, which it often is, we need to make that effort regardless and try to fix things.

In a lot of churches, there is a time of 'passing the peace' that happens before the giving of Communion. This part of the service, though often just coming off as a time to greet your brothers and sisters with a few words of well-wishing, is actually traditionally meant as a time to go and do what Jesus tells us in the passage above. The idea is that you're supposed to leave your offering, go fix whatever's wrong in your relationships with people, then come back and with a light heart give your all to God.

So I know what my prayers will be this week- that God helps me to get over and reconcile my broken relationships, so I can more effectively and wholly love His people.

Amen!

Ephesians 5: The Reason I'm Still Single

A quick note: Some of my blog posts may be edited after their original publishing, especially but not exclusively in the case of those dealing with Scripture, as my opinions and insights may change or expand overtime.


So people ask me all the time, "Tom, you're an averagely attractive, moderately-talented guy with a decent personality, how come you're not in a relationship?" (I'm also humble!) Well, okay, maybe I don't get asked that question all that often, but it has come up in conversation a few times. When you work with younger people than yourself you'll often get asked that kind of stuff, depending on what they themselves are going through at the time.

My answer usually goes something like this: Because I'm not ready yet for the incredible call God puts on husbands, and I want to make my relationship with Christ successful before I try to do the same with a woman.


In Ephesians, we see some instruction for married couples, and that's what I'm talking about tonight.


²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 ²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

So that verse that I put in bold there (crazy font-changing up in here!) is sort of the basis for my current position. This is a passage that's really easy for a person to just kind of overlook while reading. The general message of it is never lost (Love your spouse, etc) but have you ever stopped and really thought about what the words in verse 25 mean? "Love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"? That's a really huge calling! Are you in a place where you feel like you're ready to make that commitment to someone? It's not even a matter of committing to monogamous relationship (though sadly many of our generation have issues with that part as well), it's a matter of committing to such a self-sacrificial kind of love as the one we're all called to!

We are called to take up their cross, to constantly reaffirm them in the Word, to feed and care for them and to do all of this in a way that glorifies the Lord. That's an amazing call that I am excited to take on one day, but right now I need to spend more time allowing Christ to take up my cross, reaffirming myself in the Word, and building a financial situation where I can feed and care for others and not have to mooch off my parents. I want to be in a place where I feel I can make that commitment and follow the call God has placed on me.

Fun story, the first time I rambled about this late at night, I was explaining to a friend of mine and cited Eph. 5:25 as "Husbands, love your bridge as Christ loved the Church." Aren't typos just the best?

Good night internet.